Elisabeth KUBLER~ROSS, M.D. ~~ Frances LEAR ~~ David McCORD

ELISABETH KUBLER-ROSS , M.D. ~ 1926 - 2004 ~~ Doyenne of death and internationally known psychiatrist, Elisabeth Kubler-Ross was reknown for her groundbreaking study of more than 500 dying patients in the 1960s, giving her the material to write "On Death and Dying," the classic study of the stages of death. The people who attended her funeral painted her as a woman who was feisty, compassionate, stubborn, mischievous, silly and serious. She was a "guru," and like most gurus, she had her quirks. A series of strokes hit Kubler-Ross in 1994 and she had been partially paralyzed and unable to move very far from her recliner, where she spent most of her day. She was angry with God for the strokes and was not afraid to let him know. "The strokes were terribly unfair of God. After helping mankind all of my life, I finally retire and have more pain than I can imagine. I gave God hell and told him that this was the biggest insult he could ever give me." When Lady Di was killed, and in the days after, Kubler-Ross was mesmerized and grief-stricken. She couldn't leave the television set. On the night of the funeral, when the services were aired between 2 a.m. and 6 a.m., Kubler-Ross wept the entire time. "I have studied the terminally ill for 30 years and have shed few, if any tears," she said. But I realized that I had always taken care of the grief of others and not my own. I have issues I need to deal with, too. So when the funeral came, it was wonderful timing. I had asked God to give me a sad movie so I could cry my eyes out. It was really wonderful to cry so freely." "Life is strange," she said. "And death is stranger." Editor's Note: I was in attendance at Kubler-Ross's funeral in Scottsdale on September 4th and wrote about it. When I figure out how to link sites to this blog, I will do so and you will be able to read my observations. ~~ FRANCES LEAR~ 1923 - 1996 ~~ Ms. Lear was a mercurial figure in the media world who spent some $25 million she received in a divorce settlement to start a magazine named after herself. Ms. Lear was married to Norman Lear for 28 years. In recalling her years as a Hollywood wife, she said she had felt constantly ignored and undervalued, had had little self-esteem and had often been depressed. Ms. Lear was born at the Vanderheusen Home for Wayward Girls in Hudson, New York, the child of an unwed mother and an unknown father. She pulled no punches in her autobiography, "The Second Seduction," (1992), laying out in harrowing details her personal history and most intimate experiences. She was 33 and a buyer for better active wear at Lord & Taylor when she married Mr. Lear and moved to California. She turned down a buyer's job with a store in L.A. and concentrated on homemaking and rearing her two daughters. "I believe the second half of one's life is meant to be better than the first half," she said. "It is certainly true of me." Ms. Lear died of breast cancer at home in Manhattan, survived by her two daughters and two grandsons. DAVID McCORD ~ 1892 - 1997 ~~ Talented essayist, anthologist, watercolorist and trout fisherman, David McCord was most highly regarded for his children's poetry. To generations of Harvard graduates like himself, Mr. McCord was also known as the executive director of the Harvard Fund Council. He wrote or edited more than 40 books of poetry and prose. In the realm of light verse, Mr. McCord was also the often quoted author of the light verse titled "Epitaph for a Waiter," which consisted of its entirety of these lines: 'By and by, God caught his eye.' Over a 25 year period, Mr. McCord talked to more than 100,000 fourth and fifth graders across the country. He died in Goddard House, a nursing home in Boston and is survived by his companion, Harriet Parker of Boston. Editor's Note: In 1986, I had the pleasure of hearing Mr. McCord speak at the Harvard Club on Commonwealth Avenue. He was curious about the language of young people and pointed out the common and, often unusual, use of the word "like." Like wow. Like cool, etc. Several days later I happened to be in Kinko's on Boylston Street and noticed a sign on one of their big copiers that was being worked on by a technician. It simply said: "Like dead." I wrote Mr. McCord a letter to tell him what I saw and he sent back a kind and appreciative note on beautiful engraved letterhead. I still have the letter.